One of my FaB Club clients was berating herself because she’d gone into town with a big list of shopping and chores – and realised she’d left her purse at home.
Do you think she should have been hard on herself for messing up?
I think not! A better response when we forget stuff is to reframe. In other words, reflect on all the things that we REMEMBER on a daily basis.
For most working mums, even getting to work every morning is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle: There are a multitude of little and not so little “pieces” that you have to think about and that you are still thinking about after you leave for work.
Let’s face it, as a modern day working mum, your brain is probably overloaded with a myriad of “stuff”!
So, let’s take a step back and look at the forgotten purse scenario for what it is: OK, so my client forgot one piece of the daily jigsaw puzzle. But she still managed to complete more pieces of that puzzle than most people have to deal with each day.
When you mess up (and you will), you have a choice of how to respond.
You can “horribilise” it and choose to beat yourself up, decide that it is evidence that you are completely disorganised, stupid, useless, hair-brained etc. And in the process, you can do a great job of making yourself feel really bad and create a self-fulfilling prophecy of forgetfulness and disorganisation.
Or, you can talk gently to yourself, like this…
“Alright, let me look at this objectively and not go all drama queen about it. I’m going to reflect on the myriad of things that I DO remember each day, the many little things I DO achieve each day and give myself full credit for all this. Yeah.. I forgot my purse. It’s a bummer. But I’m human. Hey ho!”
You MUST practise being kind to yourself. If you can do this, you will be a mummy who is happier, less stressed and much nicer to be around!
You are human – you will stumble. That’s allowed. Even for working mums!