In part one of this post, we looked at why it’s so difficult to be a mum in modern times. And I shared with you my first three strategies for making your life simpler and less stressful as a 21st century working mum. Here are strategies 4-6:
4. Seek out your Sisterhood
This is so important. As women, we are all in this crazy journey of motherhood together. We do things in our own way, we have different values, challenges and needs. But scratch beneath the surface and you’ll find we are all suffering with self-doubt, striving to do the best that we can and muddling through! So don’t judge other women for their choices; seek to find the similarities.
And seek out your own sistserhood – women who you resonate with, with whom you can be yourself and who you trust. I give thanks for my girlfriends almost every day of my life.
I remember my doctor telling me that, as a post-menopausal woman with teenage children, that her “Prozac” for coping with work, kids and being a woman is meeting up with her girlfriends on a regular basis. There is a pressure release in being able to talk with other women. No matter how understanding your partner and male friends are, they just won’t quite get it, at least not on an empathetic level.
5. Adopt the Mantra Good Enough is Good Enough
A good enough mother sets time aside for parenting, but also recognizes she has her own needs. She allows herself and her kids to make mistakes and knows that there is no such thing as perfection in parenting or in any area of life.
She doesn’t whole advice from others but carefully considers how and if it is useful for her and her family and she values herself as a mother.
6. Accept that you are going to have to keep working at this
You may read this post and enthusiastically embark upon a programme of being kinder to yourself. You may recite “good enough is good enough” stop ironing your bed linen, leave the hovering for 2 weeks and meet up with your best friend for a drink and a chat.
But 6 weeks later, you may find yourself once again angsting over not being able to get everything done.
Mrs. Jones in the playground will be talking about her daughter’s extensive extra-curricular timetable and you may fall back into comparing yourself with her and wondering if you’ve filled your own child’s timetable with enough!
Remember… you need to keep practicing, keep talking to yourself, keep pulling yourself up short when you find yourself falling into the bad old habits that make you feel like a failure. And you WILL have times like these.
Keep working on yourself and resolve to enjoy this period of your life; keep it light, simple and smiley!
Oh, and if you want to makes sure that you DO keep working at this, you can join FaB Club. Think of it as a gym for your life – and a life gym that’s open exclusively to women like you, who are struggling to do it all and be it all!
When you join the Coaching Mums FAB community of working mothers, you will have me reminding you to take it easy and teaching you strategies on how to do so.
With FaB Club you get me coaching and mentoring you for a fraction of what you’d pay for one to one telephone coaching.