What do the Suffragettes, Frank Sinatra and a pair of pants have in common?   Together, they illustrate principles one, two and three of the seven principles of work life balance for working mums. I’ve put together seven of the most important principles for working mums who want to stay the course, retain their sanity…and still have time for a giggle at the end of the day!

As I know what it’s like trying to find the time to read anything longer than 500 words online in our time-pressed, information overloaded world, I’ve split the article into two, with principles one to three in this edition followed by four to seven in the next edition of Inspire.

Let’s start with the Suffragettes, Sinatra... and Pants!

1.) Be like a Suffragette when it comes to flexible working
No, I’m not suggesting you chain yourself outside 10 Downing Street, but I am suggesting that it’s time to stand up for yourself as a working mum when it comes to flexible working.  Times they are a’ changin’ and retaining talented employees - both men and women -  is becoming a key challenge for many organisations.  That means they need to retain YOU!

If your employer is a dinosaur and you aren’t getting any joy with your request for flexible working, start educating yourself about your rights and start seeking another job with an employer that isn’t nearing extinction.  Study after study shows that flexible working in its many guises can be a “win win” for all parties concerned if approached imaginatively and collaboratively.  

It’s time for working parents (not just working mums) to stop apologising for existing and to start realising their worth. When negotiating with your employer, be reasonable, stay in integrity and be professional about seeking a work life solution with your employer. But whatever you do, don’t be a doormat. The time has come for confidence, courage and assertiveness when it comes to negotiating flexible working terms.

2.  Do a Sinatra (“I’ll do it MY way”)
Let’s face it, as a parent, you are going to face silent or vocal criticism from someone who thinks you’re doing something the wrong way, so stop taking notice of what others say and “do” life your own way.  

I read an article in the Mail Online last week that was a supportive, light hearted look at being a working mother. Unfortunately it was followed by a string of vitriolic and quite disturbing comments by readers who seemed to view the article as an opportunity to vent their strangely bitter and twisted spleen at working mums.

The sooner you learn to shrug your shoulders, raise an eyebrow and walk your own path when you come across such people, the easier your life will be as a working parent.  

I teach my clients to “walk their own path” by helping them to identify their most important values and to use those values as a filter in every area of their lives.

When your life is lived in accordance with your values rather than what you fear other people might think, you will find it much easier to make choices that create better work life integration.  

3.  Say “PANTS!” to Perfection
Stop trying to be a Perfect Working Parent, as it is impossible.  By expecting perfection from yourself, the implication is that you expect your kids to be perfect, and it doesn’t take a child psychologist to recognise that expecting your child to be perfect is not a good idea for raising well-adjusted and resilient human beings.

Besides this, trying to attain perfection is a great excuse not to achieve anything!

Instead of perfect, go for “Good Enough” in every area of your life.  Think about where you are trying to be perfect (tip – ask your partner) and where you could lighten up.  

There’s no such thing as perfect work life balance either.  Work life balance is all about compromise and accepting you can’t do it all and have it all.

 You can decide that there are some “set in stone” areas of your life where you simply will not compromise, but use the 80/20 rule here.  Good enough will do 80% of the time!  

Next week, we’ll be covering principles four to seven with the help of John Major, a Ferrari...and a desert island!

Until then, please share this blog post with your friends and let me know how you’re doing it your way, how you’re releasing your inner Emily Pankhurst, or how you’re saying “Pants! To Perfection.”